There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
