And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
