Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
