do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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