So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
You brought string cheese to the strip club
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
