**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
