My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
