Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Randomize
