yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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