I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Randomize
