i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
