All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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