at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Randomize
