dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Randomize
