I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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