i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
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