guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize
