My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
