the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
