My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Randomize
