my sisters under your porch take her home
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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