I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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