i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
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