dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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