it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Randomize
