wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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