Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
