oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
