no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
