You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
