I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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