she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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