he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
