so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
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