how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize