I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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