Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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