THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Randomize
