OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
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