I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
