I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
