Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
