Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
