I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
