Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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