I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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