Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
