She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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