You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Randomize
