I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
