Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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