That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
