The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
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