hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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