My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize