what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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