Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
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