VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Randomize
