go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Randomize
