I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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