Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
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