What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
The feeling are messing with the penis
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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